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Hi everyone,
I've decided to move over to blogger - for various reasons. Most notably, my computer is somewhat averse to livejournal for no particular reason, and each login takes at least 10 minutes.
Nevertheless, this account shall be maintained, but please do relink if possible (:
Have a happy holiday!
Now, given this sentence to write, however desired - though within the rules - to treat it: not as a sentence to doom but a sentence of expression, of opportunity, of passion, of love.
Elation? Quite far from it; is that bad? - Is it necessary.
But weariness is a far worse alternative.
Thus - a simple thank you.
Batch'09. Fluboes'09. RGSSB'09.
Now, it's our turn.
Batch - take heart, have courage.
Fluboes - striking the balance.
RGSSB - to greater heights.
What can I say, what can I do - but offer this heart completely to You.
-
Irrelevantly, 55-fictions we wrote in class (: Writing's actually rather fun, although am not particularly good at it.
Incongruous?
He looked, and saw: petite blooms, petals silken and smooth; choice firstfruits, fleshy and full. Reveling, unabashed, in praise.
She looked, and saw. That same plot, entrenched in It’s ways. Embattled by Death’s troops headed for plunder.
He and she, an inseparable couple. Unlikely, but nevertheless so.
Success and beauty lie – all in the eye.
Second chances
I stagger. Paralysed at the prospect of endless deterioration, and a terrifying end. Degeneration of the generation, you say in a matter of fact manner, delivering a quick routine homility. A sheepish grin mustered, I inwardly cringe at the thought. Eternal condemnation! – oh, if only I’d a second chance. Oughtn’t we all?
Darn these spectacles.
After proudly announcing my resolution to sleep by 12 today - hm, well. Nevermind shall give myself a bitttt of allowance, and I will not touch any blog, or blogging-related thing, until friday. Thus a disjointed post.
Band, they are so very weird. I don't get it. I hope they practice; nothing comes without effort ("天下没有不劳而获的事。" heh.)
Not sure whether to go for prac or GM this thursday, seeing that the former will be the first with them, the latter the last I'll ever have.
Oh, I wish Thursday wouldn't come, for a number of reasons. The thought is rather unsettling.
It's been a crazy weekend. Fri/Sat/Sun involved sleeping times of 5am (ok this was my own fault :P though we had a nice long convo again) / 4am / NA.
Yes, I actually SURVIVED a day in school without having slept the night before! (Am trying to be optimistic about this record, which I hope to only set once in my RGS life.) Chem PT wasn't so bad since it was a guidebook. But History PT was awful, and I was so embarrassed looking at the brilliant creativity of my classmates' - when mine was a very plain booklet, with nothing particularly interesting. I'm sorry, I just couldn't give more in that state. Shall just hope that Mr Law's promise that "no one ever fails History PTs" stays, and just hope it won't pull down my Hist grade too much (seeing it's the only comfortable grade I got for MYAs).
Then again, though exhaustion can be burdensome, and PTs making our state "PT-ful", I'm trying to remember. Apart from the myriad of band songs that randomly play in my head, there's this song that I periodically hum quietly, to myself, or to Him; how liberating and joy-bringing it is. Music can touch so, more than words can express, and it's so much easier to face the world with a smile. Somehow. That's really all I cling to as challenges (and tiredness/drowsiness) prevail.
Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strength is made perfect, when I am weak
All that I cling to, I lay at your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me.
I'm no longer striving to merit your love
I rest in Your promise to me
That all of my sins have been washed in your blood
And now by Your grace I am free
[edit] I forgot. Weiqi's, well, "birthday" yesterday. Birth and death, how mortal we are. [/edit]
Hello all! 
That an entire post is dedicated to the promotion of our upcoming concert, Cadenza XI, reveals its importance (not just to me, but to the rest of RGSSB as well) and so please consider:
Cadenza XI - RGSSB's biannual (that's once in two years) concert showcasing a wide variety of pieces! From the short and breathtakingly catchy to the longer more colourful ones, it certainly guarantees ear (and eye :P) candy for all.
Our repertoire consists of pieces such as Carmen Fantasy, Global Variations, Aquarium, Selection from 'Cats', Russian Sailors Dance, The Pioneers, Brazil, The Centurion, Metro Gnome, Prince of Egypt, and Tico-tico.
The concert's on 19th July, a Saturday, from 3pm (to about 5pm) at Singapore Conference Hall. Tickets are priced at $12/16. The nearest MRT station is Tanjong Pagar, a mere 5-minute walk away (and hey, you get to enjoy the scenery and ambience as well as exercise those lethargic legs to gear up for the relaxing concert and tuneful melodies ahead.)
Well, thus concludes a short post (in an attempt to sleep earlier) - thank you in advance for your support (I know you want to go!) Drop a comment / an email / SMS, anything, and you'll receive a more-than-delighted response. And thanks also to those who are already going (like those from 106! :D) On a side note, we have tons of tickets left to sell, so please do show your support. What's more, for those in RG, it's a support school activity so rather than sitting there and growling cheering, you actually get to appreciate the music :D And the best part is it's during the APEG week for RG - to reduce the stress (if any) of spending your time as such.
Thank you very much and the author patiently awaits your affirmative response.
[Author's note: I don't think I've let out so much in a "public" post, but have decided to come clean for once about it - haha, I do have another blog, which shall still remain private except to some, but maybe this place shall become more active. And this post is copied-pasted wholesale, so that I don't hide the bits of my thoughts which are not as nice.]
I'm back! Thanks to the many who have expressed concern at my disappearance, haha, it seems so surreal to be thrown back into the hecticness of life once again. Case in point - after unpacking everything (which wasn't much, I survived on three shirts and two pants over the six days, yes ;D Well, that was at mom's urging to "pack less" to minimise washing) I happily logged on to discover tons of stuff left to do, not including the remaining homework that's left undone. Nevertheless, I'm glad for having had this retreat, lest this week be spent in tired resignation to the work left. As dad always says, "work expands to fit your time".
Well, church camp was great (am too sleepy to think of a better adjective). There certainly won't be enough time to note down the things whizzing past in my head, what with shutting eyelids and this clock I can see ticking out of the corner of my eye - gotta wake up at 7+ tomorrow, but I'm not sure if I can wake up :D
The speakers were excellent, well, not surprisingly - being internationally renown. I'm just surprised that they could come, given the somewhat-lower-profile of our church. Dr Richard Blackaby did mention, though, that he rarely came on such camps (much less halfway across the world!) but this round, he knew he was called to do so, and so he did, bringing his son in tow. It was amazing and humbling to see his son, too, just a couple of years older than I am; and yet how much more mature in thought and action.
(Oh, did I mention, as carsick as I was, I'm glad we got to drive in this nice airconditioned car, and didn't have to cram into the packed buses, teehee :D)
I think this camp was one of the largest turnouts so far, 300+ people, to think that just a few years back that number was probably about the size of the entire church. Unlike youth retreat, there wasn't much time to "be alone" I suppose, but at least there were activities to be involved in. Got to sit with a few different people at mealtimes and all, and have gotten to know some people better (and admittedly, have talked to some for the first time). Speaking of mealtimes, dad was rather surprised at how tough my stomach appeared to be (apparantly many good mild food poisoning from eating the salad, which I'd eaten every day) - well, it turns out that my intestines weren't quite as strong, haha, had a bad bout of stomachaches after coming home (at least it was after the entire camp)!
I guess there were only two grouses, the music (sometimes) and the True Love Waits talk, which were very minor; the camp was indeed meaningful. However deborah bids me elaborate a little on the latter, so I shall. It wasn't particularly interesting, and having already pledged twice or thrice, it was kind of hard to sustain any form of interest (uncle KC was a much better speaker.) Well, the talks turned into silent (or not-so) games of hangman as we attempted to stifle our laughter at ourselves and our uh, innate corny-ness, as well as count the alphabet on our fingers. Felt quite bad though, at the end, when he solemnly asked us to go up and make commitments, uh, so I escaped to the toilet rather shamefully; rather'd not make a commitment without being in a serious frame of mind (which I hardly was, after deborah lost three times in a row and hanged someone =P).
Alright, enough on that. Our group was suprisingly enthusiastic and completely different from what I expected! Despite the youth-youngadult-adult ratio being 4:4:6, and my initial apprehensiveness towards everyone in it, I thank God for putting me with this group of people to learn, so much, from them. Uncle KC was our group leader - encouraging in his usual kindly-understanding manner, and Eugene the ever-focused assistant. There were quite some interesting people, including a re-married couple, and a husband-and-wife team, made up of a completely different pair. Everyone contributed to the team during the group activities in whatever way they could: the "young" ones went to buy materials, the younger helped coordinate, and the youngest did the actual stuff. There was a lot of personal sharing as well, which was surprising, with people even confiding about divorced parents and remarriages and all.
Physical-tangible stuff aside, I know how often I fail - and come to think of it, even youth retreat wasn't enough to help recooperate. This time will be different, will see change.
The camp theme for this year was "Living for What Really Matters". It's been challenging to see what I've really been living for (particularly this year; Dr Blackaby's comment on "living on yesterday's obedience" particularly hit home) - for school? for results? for band? for getting out neatly-formatted and word-perfect (for psb, icyl, LM stuff or whatever) documents? for myself?!
I think all of these strike a chord, somewhere or another, and I realise how inward-looking I've been. Selfish with my stretched time and energy, unwilling to sacrifice if it hurt me, or my pride - that really hit home, I really have been investing too much in myself - and realising that it's come to nothing much but temporal (or occasionally, no) personal satisfaction. Most times it's just reflected how short-lived and transient my joy is.
I remember this day, just two weeks back or so, (I think after ensemble auds) we were having indiv in place of sectionals, so as usual I was attempting to make the best of it, smoothen out some parts and "get things done". No one was there with me but my sbm, and well, after a few minutes she tapped me and said "let's talk" and flopped down on the floor. Slightly annoyed, I sort of just looked pityingly and asked something the lines of "oh dear, are you very tired?" and went back to practising, telling myself that I won't succumb to the supposed "temptation" of slacking off. I guess I didn't bother to look, but there must have been unspoken hurt in her eyes.
That wasn't the end of it; God must have wanted to give me a second chance. A few minutes later, she asked me again, and inside me something said, "Are you willing to give up those few minutes of practice?" and I'd have liked to say no, well, wanting to be "focused" -so I thought- and all, but He tugged again so I was like, alright alright, let's sit down. Within a few minutes the slight annoyance turned into shamefulness as I listened, and nearly wanted to pound myself for my initial unwillingness to listen. In times of distress I nearly turned my own sbm away, and I couldn't help but wonder how many times I'd rejected others too. Like all the recesses and lunches spent sitting in class rushing out homework. So much for being a "peer support" (much less leader) when I couldn't even give a few minutes of my now preciously-guarded time to someone else, to hear them out. I realise how selfish I've been, and was reminded of the power of investing in others.
There's been other things God's spoken, in particular also the thing about "pruning". There's been quite a lot of things that I've been asking God to take away, especially because it's uncomfortable, hard, awkward, "not me" etc. We were reminded that God certainly isn't interested in us being comfortable; He's interested in whether we grow to be more like Christ. And if that entails being uncomfortable, so be it.
What have I been doing, gosh. A thousand apologies to my classmates, batchmates, churchmates, family, friends, everyone I know. Maybe that won't even suffice. My classmates, I still feel like a foreigner amongst most of them, for I barely know many people, a far cry from how much I "invested" my my class last year. Batchmates are probably as dear as ever, yet the majority of us have even less time to talk as school presses on. Those in church, especially the youth, I could be ashamed to say I've been in the church for more than ten years and yet barely know even my own sunday school classmates.
Most of all, a cry of repentance to God, yet You stay faithful, I know.
For those falling into the same trap of selfishness, take time to reconsider.
For those ever-generous still, don't follow my mistake.
Well, mini-sermonette over :p If you're reading this, I may know you or might not, but especially if you're a christian, I do hope you might learn something.
On a final note, though, I'd like to challenge you: what do you live for?
God bless.
Today was the last PSL session we had with 106; the last PSL session I'll ever have.
I'm not too sure what to feel, it's a culmination of nostalgia -after all, the interaction with the Sec1s was actually the main thing I joined for, I think, to help them integrate in some way or another- and yet some kind of relief that I won't have to squeeze my (sorely lacking) creative juices to plan sessions anymore, or rush to meet session proposal deadlines, or be nervous that I'll sleep right through my alarms (which I did today :O thankfully I woke up at 7.25 and not any later!)
Sadly enough, I feel a slight sense of regret that I didn't really get to know any of them personally (or as well as I hoped?), except probably those in my PSG. Hm, well, anyway thank you Clarissa, Eleanor, Rosemarie, Wan Xin, Jia Le, Ling Ling, Sandra, Eunice, and Nicole (Kuan) for being so sweet, appropriately enthusiastic, and cooperative :) (Although you'll probably never read this, but anyway.) And um, I shall attempt to keep in touch via writing letters, (hopefully!)
I just hope that they've learnt/applied something - anything, at all.
(Then again, the results shouldn't matter; I suppose what really matters is that you've put your best effort into it.)
I think I'll miss working with my fellow class i/cs; the outgoing debo, excitable (soh-sorry!) seryee, 'lame' yimin and the deceptively stern longchuan, too. It feels as though our PSL term has already ended :/
(Haha, oh, and I guess I've made up my mind with regards to applying for SPSB, as painful/sad as it may be; and shall be wishy washy no more.)
[I frankly admit] Now the only thing that seems to be looming ahead is ICYL, which I once again have exceedingly mixed feelings towards, because I'm probably the only person who doesn't [I C Your Love] see any love in planning ICYL, and feel terribly hypocritical. Haha, I'll just give my best; and hopefully the current feelings of obligation will be replaced by a (mild; not over) enthusiasm.
106! It's been great to see how you guys have grown; and hope you continue to grow (in love :D) It's been a rather rewarding learning experience, and sometimes it was so nice to take a step back and remember how I was in Sec1 (haha, poofy hair and all :D oh dear, come to think of it, I may have frightened my PSLs a lot!) especially seeing how some of them were so much like me, in different ways.
Thus I conclude a disjointed post. (Hah, I never had/have a flair for blogging.)
- Just for the fun of it (: (credits: from samseah's blog, who got it from peixin)
You know when you are a band geek when...
1. You 'band' with your friends instead of 'bond'.
2. You list your band conductor as an emergency contact
3. You make band jokes in a class where there are no other band people.
4. You list your band director as a reference on job applications.
5. You hear music and begin to mark time.
6. Your favourite [band] song is by someone who passed away over a hundred years ago.
7. You eat meals in the band room
8. Your reading budget is higher than your food budget
9. You can [attempt to] tune a tenor sax.
10. You try to guess the tempo of your favorite songs.
11. You think band camp is fun, but other people don't.
12. You point out key changes and dynamics when listening to the radio[/music]
13. All your friends are in band, because you made them join.
14. You dream about band (figuratively), and your nightmares are related to band
15. You get excited when people get new instruments
16. Every guy/girl you're interested in is in band.
17. You remember flats and sharps better than your name.
18. People ask about your social life and you say, "Oh, you mean my clarinet?"
19. You're alone and you suffocate because no one's telling you to breathe.
20. People have commented on how much you look like your instrument. (haha! the small bit.)
21. You are the webmaster of your band's website.
22. You can play more than one instrument well.
23. You understand more Italian than English.
24. All of your conversations eventually get around to the subject of band. (whether with band people are non-band people)
25. You can finish other band members' sentences.
26. Your instrument [had] a nickname.
27. You practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog. (I don’t have a dog :D)
28. You see your section more than your family.
29. You worship your band conductor as god (er?!)
30. You own a band shirt.
31. You like the way reeds taste
32. You like the smell of your instrument (the lack of it :))
33. You spend more time in the band room than going for lessons
34. You realise that half the time the tune in your head is a band piece rather than any other songs
35. You get real super excited when you see someone else carrying an instrument in public
36. You wear your band shirt wherever you go
37. Your iPod/mp3 is full of band music [half]
38. You have a band piece as your ringtone/alarm tone.
39. You burst out singing/whistling a band piece in front of other non-band people, with other band friends joining in singing/whistling their own parts
40. You smile widely when polishing your instru
41. You say 'instru' and people go 'huh?'
42. You irritate your non-band friends by telling your non-band friends what happened during concert/the previous band prac/basically all things band
43. The band room is your first destination after school
44. You prefer having band to having lessons for the entire day (ok, only sometimes I admit)
45. Your doodles in class are stick figures with instruments
46. You feel restless, guilty and sad for the entire day if you miss band practices
47. The main reason why you like going to school is because of band
48. You start buzzing anywhere and everywhere
49. You talk to your instrument
50. You feel like cursing when you are forced to miss band practices
51. You are completely dejected during band breaks and can't stop counting down to the day band practices resume
52. You wake up thinking 'Do I have to bring my mouthpiece/file today?'
53. You find yourself drumming rhythms on the keyboard with your fingers without knowing it, like 'http://www.hghhghgghghhghgghghhghgghghh
54. You know that this post is going to be skipped by non-band people
(Heehee, only half a band geek, thankfully ;))
-
This weekend's been eventful and memorable, but sharing it here is odder than ever - bearing in mind that it gives a public view of (what i'd prefer to keep personal) experiences :) Nonetheless, I will say that I feel really blessed, for having both a loving family, the sweetest friends ever; and most of all a glorious risen King to depend on.
refreshed[Alright, I'll copy some bits over.]
Back from the rather refreshing youth retreat; I’m quite glad I was eventually allowed/decided to go, despite deliberating over it just a couple of hours before it started. [Thanks to the J1 camp comm.] It wasn’t really fun and packed as last year, but just as well; at least I wasn’t as tired (although it did serve me right to attempt to stay up all night for the first time ever). I did force myself to sleep, though, this round, because of PSL session the following day. (106:)! I can't believe it was the, what, fourth last PSL session already D:) I was probably one of the less dazed this morning; everyone was practically bleary-eyed from staying up until insane hours like 5.30am.
A few things God’s revealed to me over the past two/three days, regarding my latest school-worries, thankfully. (Which aren't really safe to elaborate on here, though.)
It was a pleasant surprise for our group, group five – comprising alex, jon leung, rachel, bethanie, me, eeyang, dwong, [bryan], [estee], [winnie], [michelle who helped us for the amazing race] – to have clinched first place out of six (and no thanks to our MIA group leader bryan seto who appeared on the last night!)
There could have been more time allocated for people to really ‘retreat’, but maybe most were comfortable with the length; because I can’t really think, concentrate properly or have quiet time unless it’s almost absolutely quiet and there’s no one around (get distracted really easily). I decided to wake up really early the morning of the 2nd day, and so set my alarm clock at 5.30am; unfortunately dragging up half my dorm up with me :D (cries of “whose alarm clock is that?!?!!! Only 5.30 leh *grumble*” Not unexpected, though, seeing how I incur my family's wrath every morning when my alarm (dubbed "fire alarm" for its volume) rings unceasingly, oops.) They promptly fell asleep again, though :p and I got to watch the lovely sunrise on my own, listen to the crickets humming away, watch the leaves swaying gently about.
Praise God for using dwong to lead the worship so powerfully on the 2nd night, for He really does bless those who seek Him. I’ve never seen (heard, rather. Or maybe felt.) our YF praising God so wholeheartedly; and I don’t think it’s because of the size of the hall. I just pray that the flame lasts.
Some things I’ve gained from the retreat?
Mostly the intangible, apart from this nice leather bookmark we got for winning ;)
As I was sharing with my group (yeah thanks to seto, had to take over and thus was obliged to say something to break the awkward silence), something that really jumped out at me was from 1 corinthians 4, where Paul was urging the Corinthians to follow … whose example? (The king? The priests?) No, none other than his own example; which I found rather admirable. How many of us would dare shamelessly ask others to emulate all that we’ve done, knowing for certain that we’ve led a righteous life? I’d probably be terribly embarrassed to let others know all the wrong stuff I’ve done if they imitate all I do.
Haha alright while I’m on it, the passion with which the authors write Psalms is simply amazing as well. I wish I could write like them (dream on ;)).
Now, it’s back to the ‘real world’ again. No more planned activities, sitting alone in the beauty of nature, complete lack of worry about homework. I’ll miss it, not terribly though; but take along whatever I’ve been reminded of in my life – living it by His love, joy, grace and power.
Give us clean hands, give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
O God let us be a generation that seeks
That seeks Your face, O God of Jacob
[With more than a one-person readership, I might actually update this more often!]
SLI's finally over; the week of hectic-ness finally come to a close.
The OT was great (and hardworking, think: spending 8h -until 11pm- doing deco), and although I didn't really do much, kudos to setup (especially mandi goh for doing so much) - and everyone else, too!
Thanks aside, the week of action and late nights, well, forced a rethink of my priorities (which was my grumble during MG meeting after PSL session today).
I'm not quite sure how to put it, but, well, (not devaluing it) I guess spending lunches and hours after school ironing curtains, or late nights compiling, writing and issuing excuse letters, isn't really the way I should have spent my week in a worthwhile manner.
This week marked the beginning of SAs for the entire year, well, with history on wednesday. I completely empathize with karmin - there was hardly any time to revise, and for the first time in months, studying was done barely 12h before the actual exam itself (gosh, what happened to my glimmer of a mugging spirit?) and done in a mere 2h. As a result, the prospect of getting anything near a desirable grade has diminished; but it's hardly like me to groan over exams and results - so back bounces the optimistic talia: In any case, it's history! (if you didn't get it, yes, pun intended.)
As for SLI, which many look forward to with much anticipation, just seemed like a thing to me. Far from the thing, in any case. I do hope it's not a sign of increasing cynicism; which I've actually had to come to terms with as a descriptor for my current state. (Haha, in sec1/2, I was so conservative and all; 'cynical' would have been the last adjective I would have envisioned myself associated with. Which isn't necessarily bad, now that I come to think of it :/) I'm not sure why, but I got this odd, uncomfortable, awkward - ? - feeling, sense of superiority even, throughout SLI ceremony. Wondering how the rest of the school population felt, at seeing others being deemed 'leaders', when they themselves were mere 'bystanders', not ... 'worthy' of being acknowledged along with them.
(This of course, may be my complete imagination, but if I were an observer I may have certainly felt so. And it certainly isn't true.) Then again, there'll never be a perfect solution - SLI does serve as some kind of a motivational, sign of 'clearance'/recognition to many, so I don't dispute the importance of it (although I don't quite agree with the necessity, perhaps.)
Maybe I ought to stop thinking too much, and just appreciate life for what it is.
Anyway, after SLI, went out with keyun/rebecca/samseah/pearlyn/jessica to plaza sing to have a (semblance of) lunch, which ended up as a crazy assortment of double-boiled-papaya-and-snow-fungus-and-a
After which, I got home, and finally touched the piano (eagerly) after a whole one-two weeks of not practicing (except uh, a hurried one on saturday night last week for sunday, which turned out quite bad I'm sorry. The chords were half wrong and all; I hardly gave my best). Talked on the phone for a meaningful hour (haven't done that in a long time). And went on a short bike ride after ages, down the connector to bukit panjang, by the canal against a backdrop of forest. Admiring the complex beauty in the simplicity of nature has always been thereupatic; I realised how uptight I'd been over the week, how jumbled up my priorities had been. How much I needed to realign them, and live my life for what I know I should be living for.
And realising how blessed I am.
To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.
When it’s all been said and done
There is just one thing that matters
Did I do my best to live for truth
Did I live my life for You?
When it’s all been said and done
All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I’ve done for love’s reward
Will stand the test of time
Lord Your mercy is so great
That You look beyond our weakness
And find purest gold in miry clay
Making sinners into saints
I will always sing Your praise
Here on earth and ever after
For You’ve shown me Heaven’s my true home
When it’s all been said and done
You’re my life when life is gone
Lord I’ll live my life for You
Sometimes, we simply get so caught up in the whole whirlwind of activity.
Rushing, here and there.
Swept from school to home and back again on weekdays, rushing about doing stuff; that we forget to stop and think.
And during the few times that reality hits home, one realises the temporal effect of the superficial - grades, exams, positions.
I suppose the past few days have been a brilliant example, coming home after 8, 'chionging' homework/proposals (and subsequently continuing during recess/lunch the next day). (Haha, and to think I'm hardly considered 'busy' compared to many others, and exams haven't even started!)
I'm currently afraid of being so caught up in the busyness of absolutely everything, that I forget to relate, to love, to care, to laugh with. Spending less time with friends (and missed band again today), with family (they're only awake for about an hour or two after I come home), and with You.
During CLE recently we were asked to write about our 5-year goal and constantly review it to "ensure success and results". So much for character education!
What can you hope for, with absolute certainty?
What do you live for?
There was once this top-notch businessman, CEO of a wealthy company. He had always emphasized efficiency and excellence, but this week, things hadn't gone too well. A few of his high-level managers had fallen sick, many key workers had taken leave, resulting in lapsed deadlines and undone work. He had spent the week running about, ordering work to be done here and there, scolding those who didn't comply.
That Friday, he stormed once again into the lift on the twenty-fourth floor, furious and irritated. "ONE!" he roared and the lift appeared to obey his command, magically. Until of course, he noticed this lift attendant boy. Not particularly intellectual, nor eloquent, but uniform pressed, hair combed. And smiling.
This boy, he looked familiar. He'd seen him every day, from the day the company had opened its doors until now. Always patient, waiting, and smiling.
How could he be smiling? That idiotic foolish smile? Furiously, he turned to the boy and asked, "What on earth are you smiling for? There's absolutely nothing to be happy about!" His face turned red with rage as he raised a menancing fist, before lowering it in half-shame.
This boy, oblivious to his rage, continued smiling.
Then turned, and simply said,
"Well sir, I'm happy because I've never lived this day before."
- I want to live each day this way.
Since this is a semi-public avenue I may as well express some heartfelt thanks to 211'07, this bunch of 28(+3) ppl who've stuck with me throughout this year. So if you're a 211er '07, and you chance upon this sometime or another, well that's nice (:
I vaguely recall memories of J-blk last year; with 112'06 hugging and some even crying; not willing to let time take it's course. Then I thought it was the best class ever. I think I have a hundred and one photos of our last day in school.
This year, it's as though just as we're beginning to gel together; not by some enthusiastic ra-ra spirit, but a more subdued kind of magnetic force, we're parting. Friday's 1hr farewell class closure was barely enough. It's as though, what? the year's over? we've just finished our last day as sec2s? And so we parted with this sense of denial. Denying that we were ready to progress, ready to move on. I just left with the mindset that hey, it's just another holiday, we'll be back again in a month at most to meet each other again. But now? It hasn't sunk in that we'll never be together again, just the 28 of us, seeing each others' faces, smiles and laughter, tired and drowsy expressions.
I know most of us would've never admitted it at the start of the year. I think many even wished they were in other classes and it was rather discouraging. But with quite some confidence I can say that I really do love (phileo. i'm straight :P) everyone in twoeleven, and I shall miss everyone loads. Even though we'll all wish for more time together; though we did have many squabbles and glares, I think we're more or less quite good friends and comfortable with each other. Even if we didn't win netcarn (haha we got 12th runners' up! yeah!), nor drama night, nor cheering comp, nor any class competition (OHOH we won class deco!); it really doesn't matter. It's not what we won that counts; but the fact that we appreciated and enjoyed each others' company throughout. Recognised each others' flaws and weakensses, but more so strengths and abilities and talents.
I'm really grateful for being blessed with such a wonderful class.
Pardon the cheesy line that will follow.
Admittedly, "Friends Forever" is impossible; but still we'll treasure all the times we had together.
<3 211'07!
Now, that the sober part is over, the THANK YOU TIME! (:
Firstly, not to boast or anything, but I really really thank you guys for giving me the opportunity to be class chair. I know there are others who'd have done a much better job, and I know there are many things that could've been handled better. Either way, I guess you guys helped give me that platform of training and experience. It's quite a ... unique experience to feel responsible when teachers' scold your class for not handing up homework etc. I remember once Mrs Mak went, "Talia! What on earth is happening to your class! ... (blah) ..." Well yeah but thanks for your encouragement, support, occasional bursts of ra-ra enthusiasm, and everything.
Secondly, to our wonderful teachers (well I certainly hope they never read this though, but anyway) thank you for persisting throughout. Even though our class was rather tardy and unresponsive at times, you still bore with us and saw us through; helped us grow to who we are today.
Thirdly, every single person in 211.
Anna - Polar bear! Thanks for your cute grin, lively recess-time guitar music, support as vchair, and for being as one-legged as me at times!
Cheng Ee - Gee, thanks so much for always being there, since sec1, and I'll always remember the times we highlighted your specs in chinese class in a vain attempt to keep you awake last year. (of course, we fell susceptible to that temptation this year)
Madeline - Deedee, thank you for your commitment and willingness to do stuff for the class, like our class tee design (which I'm really proud of yeah :D) For faithfully going the extra mile to the GO every single morning.
Florence - Flo, you've really been a great encouragement this year, jiayou in PB and continue to grow. strong(er)! (not taller.)
Elizabeth - Liz! Thanks for your enthusiasm, drama queen ;) You've been really huggable and loving despite our er, few discussions.
Shuqin - Shuu, your laughter has been extremely amusing this year. Thanks for teaching me how to laugh, laugh, and laugh :D As well as being so encouraging/supportive too!
Dora - doraheng. You evilly tall person. Thanks for barging in on my table in the canteen :D Fine, for your recess company, as well as your leadership in a lot of class events that I'm sorry you got saboed to do :D For being i/c of welfare comm too and doing all the cards and stuff (:
Jamie - hey, yo! Thanks for your consistent encouragement and I really appreciated it (: As well as your occasional cynicism (which I'm sure you always bottle up for the right moments ;P)
Karen - karenxi, you evilly tall person #2. Thanks for your leadership too in a lot of class stuff esp the acting stuff yeah, for always helping with the drama stuff blah. Thanks for your sarcarsm and condemnation (haha :P) but yeah thanks for being there!
Shiying - shiing, thanks for your enthusiasm and support the whole year! For your cute poses and ready grin.
Trina - trinaling, aka lion, thanks for being so steady and dependable and reliable! Yet under that I know there's a really crazy person inside, who always cheered me up during (ack) art, especially.
Marissa - mwasa, ego person :P (haha nono, jk) thank you for your contributions and generosity!
Chenrui - Thanks for your sweet, demure personality, though under which lies a rather different and daring character.
Michelle - mish you pro dissatisfied person be more grateful! Aha thanks for your laughs and wicked smile. As well as the free amusement when seeing your new and refreshing insights with regards to how one can fall asleep in class without teachers knowing.
Gloria - hey, my classmate for 5 years already, like P3-5 and Sec1-2. Even though many people assume you to be quiet and all, you've never failed to prove me wrong a gazillion times! You've been really encouraging and extremely hardworking, making me feel so guilty as I stare at your pages of tingxie notes when I didn't even study (I didn't just say that, did I.) I remember our attempts struggles to peel our eyes open during chinese lessons (which was actually rather cosy with only 13 of us) but mostly unsuccessfully falling asleep behind a shield of a sweater or waterbottle. Plus the many recesses and the food which you always order (meat+tofu/egg and no veg :D) Most memorably, the *tsk* noises you made that I used to be infuriated with in P3 hah during exams when we were sitting side by side (I didn't really know you then). Even though we'll prob be separated next year we still have chinese together, yay (:
Rachel - another person whom "appearances can be deceiving" applies to. Ah I know most people assume really demure and quiet but after sitting next to you for a term *cough* Funnily talkative with your irritation at inane stuff; and your deceptively sweet and innocent appearance disappears when you attack jiayi :D
[edit] argh, I realise my tomorrows last really long! [/edit]
Samantha - Classmate for 3+ years (the + including the odd P2 year when they grouped the band1s/2s/3s together, so technically I wasn't in your class but I was with you for all subjects 0.o) Funny half-childish person; still liking powerpuff girls and all =p
Jiayi - Ah, our marvellous SL group leader! Thanks for all your effort, 'cos I know SL took up quite a lot of time in terms of planning (though maybe not in execution) and I'm glad you volunteered! That aside, behind your serious-responsible appearance, you never cease to amaze me with your hilarious experiences - how many people drink $5 bottles of "miracle water" that supposedly allow you to live til 200, and how many have had 5 acupuncture needles stuck in their face! :D
Stephanie - Yesyes "appearances [certainly] can be deceiving"! Teachers ought to come in during recess and stuff and realise your talkative nature (: Thanks for your generousity especially during recess time; willing to share the table unlike a certain other person *cough*.
Shona - Despite your fangirling you're really rather hardworking! Thanks for your friendliness/outgoing personality and your funny stories throughout the year. I still can't believe you can cry over korean dramas, of all things! Class chalet was fun, wasn't it ;)
Sirui - Workaholic! But you've been really nice to me, patiently waiting for me and stuff. Ah well, I hope you'll realise there's more to life than work and grades, and that we aren't selfish because we 'use' waterbottles for our own purposes. Thanks for being hardworking for some of the group projects we've done together.
Cheryl - I always knew there was a (large) element of wittiness behind your sober face =p It's been nice being in your class (for the first time) and er, having more 'enjoyable' philo lessons thanks to some of your suggestions.
Jing Xuan - I remember how shockingly piercing your scream was last year! :D Thankfully this year was better, haha, my eardrums are still intact. Thankyou for livening up chinese lessons, haha thankfully you'll be there next year to liven them up too! :) Don't go back to japan kay!
Sze Min - Thank you too for your support as vchair, maintaining some normal-ness in the classroom especially when it got really rowdy. I still don't get your blog posts though D: (hahah too cheem for me! =p)
Chinwei (aka teesh) - Frankly, I was rather shocked by your unconventional ideas (an understatement, yet) at first! Despite all your argumentativeness (and I must concede that you argue really well; you have this unique ability to push your point forward no matter how odd or different it is) - and I remember all the debates, gosh, on the funniest things. Like whether virginity is an overrated quality (YOU started that), whether there's such a thing as 'good'/'bad', especially on religion and God and science etc. [btw, though I doubt you'll read this one, haha I got you a book =p] And forcing me to widen my rather conservative and sometimes rigid perspective on many issues (though not saying I agree to the opposing pov, just not so critically fixed against it). It's funny how arguing over something can actually deepen your understanding of it. That said, I still can't absorb your weird sleeping hours (and coffee and panadol and strepsils and whatnot) and queer way of asking something over and over again (think: "should I take lit????!!" or "taliaseet! I forgot what I wanted to tell you!")
Jessica - I'm glad you were in my class this year! I really got to know you better, especially at the start of the year when you dragged me down to the bookshop, or to stand around and scream/run away whenever a fruit (i.e. apple/orange; but apples mostly =p) was in sight. (basically, dragged me everywhere except to queue up at a canteen stall, you ano person; and then proceeded to groan over my humongous appetite.)
Jo-Ann - It was delightful being in your class (: And I guess you probably won't know, but yeah you did influence me to be bolder and thanks (:
It's finally done! (: Er, about 1 month after it was begun (oops).
The year's actually over, and we'll be Sec3s before we know it. I'm somewhat dreading the responsibility, and expectations of the term. Praise God for His faithfulness and favour shown to me this year; He's truly shown me much grace and mercy throughout. He's also grown me so much.
Give thanks with a grateful heart,
Give thanks to the Holy One,
Give thanks because He's given
Jesus Christ His Son.
And now let the weak say "I am strong."
Let the poor say "I am rich."
Because of what the Lord has done for us
Give thanks.
Recently discovered an extremely long, seemingly unending list of interesting phobias (ah, a nice list of words for games of hangman):
That's just the more interesting ones from A-C, for fear of an extremely long eternal post! I personally find aulophobia particularly fascinating :D
[P.S. Perhaps the next post (if I ever get round to doing one and not end up neglecting this account; though the latter option is probably more likely) shall be an argument regarding the issue of homosexuality in Singapore, then there'll be negative comments and some emotional tension, after which I shall have a good excuse to shutting down this LJ account for (ugh) I did try, haha. Just like the last one :D]
Readers' note:
This account is intended for commenting purposes - at least for the near future; for a pitiable group of people (including me) have been disallowed from doing so unless one has an LJ account (smart tactic, I must say).
However, if something of serious interest and relevance is brought up, a post may occasionally appear (perhaps once a month) in order to keep this place somewhat alive.
